Stop #60: Cielo

Tim's Review: Sometime back in the later part of 2013, Tony and I actually went on another slinger adventure. It's hard to believe we are both this lazy about writing in the blog now, but it's been over two months. It was actually on Oct. 27. The only reason I can remember the exact day is because the City of St. Louis Photo Enforcement Program was kind enough to send me a picture of me, making a right turn in my multi purpose vehicle (Kia Rondo) from Grand to 44 and reportedly committed the offense of “No Stop Berfore Right Turn”. Fuck that. Anyways, let's talk about the slinger.

I realize it may sound a little absurd that I'm recalling a slinger that I ate over two months ago, but there's really only one of thing that needs to be said: This slinger was $18. Just to be clear, it's a slinger that costs Eighteen U.S. Dollars, making it by far the most expensive slinger in town. I'm not necessarily opposed to paying top dollar for some super tastey food, but it better as hell be good. I don't want some average bowl of slop that I can get anywhere else for $8. Now I know what you're thinking, Tim, stop sounding like a goddamn cheapskate and bitching about how much this thing cost and just tell us....How was the slinger? It was insanely average and I'd say it was worth about $8. All the major players were there, eggs, hashbrowns, burger patty, and chili, but not one ingredient stood out as being anything special.

So was it worth the $18?? Hell no! If you want an average slinger and you're willing to pay an extra $10 so you can have a view of the arch while you eat, I guess Cielo is your place.

Tony's Review: Tim summed this up pretty well, $18 slinger, the one thing he forgot to mention was the magical night we shared together the night before. We rented matching black tuxedos (VIP style), had a stretch Ford F-350 limo bring us to the Four Seasons where we had booked our room. Spun a few slots at Lumiere, lost close to $2,800 and ended up crying in the hot tub in our $3,000 suite. Needless to say the night wasn't great. Luckily we saved enough money to have brunch at Cielo.

The hostess could Tim and I were in the dumps so she gave us the most romantic view in the restaurant. The menu was really upselling the slinger (Jones Heritage Farm Eggs, Chef Donn's Chili), they didn't need to do this, they could of just said "You're eating a slinger at the Four Season's Hotel...Fuck you). When our slingers came I was instantly impressed by the size of the plate/bowl that the slinger was nestled in. It looked good and it tasted pretty good, the chili was rich as hell and also oily as hell, which lets you know that the chances you'll get diarrhea have increased 1,000%. The burger was thick and tasty but there was a lack of hash browns which would of helped soak up that man grease. The eggs were cooked perfectly and they better be, they're heritage eggs. The problem with this slinger is the same we've seen before—too many bold things. The burger and chili would be good on their own but if you're combining the two you need to tone that shit down. SHOW THE SLINGER SOME RESPECT YOU ANIMALS!

Bottom line, unless you're a millionaire/asshole, don't eat this thing. We knew it wasn't going to be worth it but you never know, it could of come with a surprise happy ending which would of made it worth $16.