Saturday, March 30, 2013

Stop #49: Steak 'n Shake

Tony's Review: Imagine our surprise when we heard that Steak n Shake introduced a new late night menu and they have a Steakburger Slinger! The big wigs at corporate must follow our super popular blog and realized that this was a huge opportunity to introduce the slinger to the nation. The new Up All Night menu features a good variety of gross food to jam into your gullet when you've had about 42 too many Little Kings, but beware the menu is only available from Midnight – 6am, which means you won't be the only drunk slob in the restaurant.

I like Steak n Shake a fair amount and think they have legit burgers that dip a toe in Lake Bold Flavors but doesn't get too crazy. But for a chain they definitely hold their own and senior citizens would agree with me. I was excited to try this one, the steakburger is quality, the chili is quality, surely this would be an in the park homerun in my mouth right? WRONG! FUCKING WRONG!

This slinger was probably the biggest disappointment on the tour for me and maybe I was a ding dong to think that a chain could nail such a "complex" dish but still man this was pure shit. Since it's a late night only menu option you're guaranteed terrible service so look forward to that. 45 minutes later when you get your food you pretty much want to fist punch the skillet and leave. Just look at it, it's one of the most depressing slingers I've ever seen. I don't even know what they did to the egg to get it like that, potentially deep fried it, but it was the worst egg I've ever had. The hash browns served as a great mushy base to the pile of shit that was on top of them and offered zero flavor to the slinger. The chili, which I thought was good, was a fucking insult to chili across the world. It formed a unique paste like texture with the terrible hash browns that reminded me of a thick tomato based vomit attack. Then there was the burger...oh Steak n Shake you sell "steakburgers" all day long, you put them on interesting burger combinations with bold ingredients, but when you put them on a garbage slinger you don't season them at all? FUCK YOU. Honestly, even if this was the best burger in the world it still couldn't of helped the rest of the slinger.

Thanks to Steak n Shake I will never get hyped to try a new slinger, so congratulations you assholes, I'll see you in the Hall of Shit.

Tim's Review: For some unknown reason, I made the same mistake as Tony in thinking that Steak N Shake was going to serve up a halfway decent slinger. I don't even think Steak N Shake is that great to begin with. Their burgers are just ok, but for a fast food chain I guess that's the best you could hope for. Why the hell was I the slightest bit excited for this mess? Maybe it's like when you see a commercial for Applebee's where they're introducing the new spicy teriyaki wings or the “Fresh burger” with Jack Daniel's bbq sauce, everyone has to admit: that shit looks good! But everyone also knows what it's really going to look like when they set it down in front of you.

To be fair, I'll have to talk about the one positive at Steak N Shake. The best part of this slinger: the pancake that came on the side. How pathetic it that Steak N Shake?! The best part of your slinger is the fact that I had something else to eat while I looked at your shit pile of a slinger in disgust. And for the record, the pancake wasn't that great either. It was a matter of me being hungry and picking the best of the worst and the slinger clearly lost. The worst part of this junk has got to be a 5 way tie between the chili, the burger, the eggs, the hash browns, and the skillet. Yep, it all sucked. The “skillet” sucked because it wasn't even real. It was a plastic plate in the shape of a skillet. Would a real skillet made this shit any better? Hell no! But just put it in a regular plate.

I don't know that I would have initially been so quick to throw this pile into the hall of shit, but when Steak N Shake served up the worst eggs on the tour, they were practically asking for it. Bottom line: Steak N Shake, you suck.

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