Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Stop #10: City Diner

Tony's Review:
The best thing about this slinger was the meatball—yes—a meatball. Before we the lashing begins I would like to go on record and say that I always enjoy City Diner for breakfast. My girlfriend and I often come here when we can't decide on a place and want a solid breakfast, which they do quite well. The slinger on the other hand is almost the biggest piece of trash I've eaten on this tour (next to Uncle Bill's of course).

Where to begin...for starters this thing was engulfed in cheese, normally you would get excited about this but had zero taste and I think they only put that much cheese on top so you don't see the pile of shit that is hiding below it. We asked if we could substitute the sausage that came with it for a burger instead but got denied which is understandable but man that sausage was rock hard and barely edible. The hash browns again had zero flavor (I would recommend getting the breakfast potatoes which is one of the highlights of City Diner).

The Infamous Meatball
Now onto the "chili". Holy moly what the fuck is this garbage! The first bite I had it immediately had the taste of a steel can like how Chef Boyardee raviolis taste so not a good start. As I continued to punish myself I began to realize that this wasn't chili at was fucking meat pasta sauce and some dummy in the kitchen just spooned in chili beans to make it look real, you can't fool me asshole! The cherry on top of this slinger was the tasty meatball that I came upon about half way through, if only the rest of this tasteless slinger was as tasty as that one meatball we maybe would of had something.

Overall, don't ever order the slinger from City Diner just about everything else on the breakfast menu is a good choice but stay away from the slinger. In fact, if you know or hear anyone ordering the slinger get up out of your chair, apologize for that person, say he/she meant to order the Southsider and then fart as you're walking away for good measure.

Tim's Review:
I'll just start off by saying, I've never liked the City Diner. I've never had anything good there, but for some reason, it seems like everybody, like Tony and his girlfriend, think this is a great spot. Maybe I just don't get it....... OR maybe their food just sucks. I've actually tried this slinger before, easily over 5 years ago, probably rather late into the evening (early morning perhaps). From I remembered, this was one of the worst slingers I've ever had. But after many years have past, I think we can honestly say we approached this with an open mind. Maybe my tastes have changed, maybe the city diner has raised the bar and serves up some quality food......NOPE!

Apparently not a damn thing has changed in the past 5 years, because this slinger was just as I remembered: bullshit!! I'm a big fan of cheese, but it should never be the largest ingrediant of any slinger. There was easily twice as much cheese as chili, proof that the city diner doesn't even understand the basic form of a slinger. And the “chili” ?!? definitely the worst chili on the tour so far. We did notice on the menu that you can order just a bowl of chili. Ohh my! The only thing I could imagine worse than eating this slinger would be to eat the chili by itself. The sausage patty's were rubbery little biscuits with no hint of spice. It was a little annoying at first that they had some kind of issue with replacing the sausage for a burger patty, clearly they have burger on the menu, but you know what? I don't even care! I'm pretty sure that a burger patty would not have made this pile of junk any tastier.

So after all the bitching, my favorite part of city diner..... the coffee. If for some reason I was forced back into the City Diner, I'd order a cup of coffee. If slinger is any kind of representation of the rest of the menu, I'll gladly wait to eat somewhere else.

After a tough decision, City Diner lands in 9th place on my list, coming in just barely ahead of that disaster Uncle Bill's calls a slinger. Definitely nothing to be proud of City Diner. With the top 10 finally full, I don't expect either of these two to be on the list a few weeks from now.    

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Stop #9: Olivette Diner

Tim's Review:
So after that failed experiment with Marley's and the tator tots, Olivette Diner brings us back to classic slinger.

A great reminder that hash browns are put in a slinger for a reason: because they're damn good. 
Aside from the hash browns, Olivette Diner serves up an all around solid plate with one of the best burgers put in a slinger so far.

This is only the second place (after White Knight) that used ground beef, instead and that frozen meat patty. Wait a second, to be fair, we didn't actually see the burger being made (or thawed) at Uncle Bill's, so who knows what they use. Maybe Uncle Bill's gets their “meat” delivered from the same place as the Taco Bell across the street. You know, that “meat” that looks like poop soup in a plastic bag.

Anyway's back on track, Olivette Diner was a great slinger. Not great enough to make it into my top three, but definitely not at the bottom of the pack either. I had a tough time deciding if this should go before or after the buttery. The Buttery does still have some of the best hash brown around, but the Olivette Diner had a much better burger and overall is the winner. So this tasty treat lands in 4th place. The top ten is finally starting to fill up and I suspect those near the bottom will fall off pretty quick.

On a side note, I definitely plan on taking another trip to Olivette to check out the rest their menu. I saw some pancakes and waffles that looked damn fine! And another side note, while there I found out that Ray's Donuts is in the same little strip mall. This guy I used to work with would bring those in and those are some kick ass donuts. That's a lot of great breakfast for one little strip mall.

Tony's Review:
Once again we hit the road for this weeks slinger and were pretty hyped on this place even though we had never been there. The Olivette Diner is not your standard looking diner seated right in the middle of a lovely strip mall but it doesn't skip a beat on the inside. Tons of character and this place was jamming out the pancakes to the numerous hungry breakfast goers.

Enough jibber jabber this isn't am I right. So I guess I appreciate the classic, bold flavors of Olivette Diner a little more than Tim does...that's fine I'm just more mature. I thought Olivette hit the slinger nail right on the head, the hash browns were great nice and crispy on the edges and a solid overall flavor. Like Tim said the home made burger was really good, probably could of used a little more seasoning but still a lot better than some of the other we've had. The chili was solid, not out of this world, but carried the thing nicely. One of the highlights for me was the hot sauce they had called Gunslinger, never heard of this crap but it had a great taste and packed a bit of a punch.

I would definitely recommend this place to any lover of breakfast, like Tim said this place had an awesome menu that would be worth checking out. Keep up the good work Olivette Diner, you made my day a little brighter and you made my car a lot stinkier.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Stop #8: Marley's

Tony's Review:
To celebrate Mother's Day we did it the only way we know how...driving to Ferguson, MO to eat a stupid slinger. I received word about Marley's from a co-worker who lives in the area and after last week's shit pile with Uncle Bill's we thought it would be nice to on a Sling-cation. We both were a little reluctant about it because it's out of our lovely city and in a bar, not a diner, but luckily we were treated a tasty surprise.

Marley's changed their slinger up a bit by offering tater tots instead of hash browns and only one egg instead of two. Now the tater tots were cooked perfectly, super crunchy and tasted great but they work with the whole plate as well as traditional has browns do. The burger was easily the tastiest burger I've had so far, it wasn't super thin and cooked well done like usual. The chili was pretty good, didn't blow me away but didn't hurt anything and the one egg thing was a bummer.

Even though this slinger breaks a couple of rules it still delivers in the taste department and Marley's seems like a pretty legit place with cheap beer and cheap food. Not sure I would recommend you drive all the way out there to get it but if you find yourself in or near Ferguson you should treat yourself to a little "Bob" Marley's.

Tim's Review:
So Tony and I are finally going to disagree, but I should admit something right up front, tator tots just aren't really my thing. They're not terrible, it's just that if I had a choice I would never order them. BUT if they are in your slinger, I will give it a try. Unfortunately, Marley's just didn't really do it for me. I do think that the tator tots were actually kind of good. The one thing I usually hate about tator tots is that they are too greasy, and these weren't. But they just aren't better than hash browns. 
The other problem I had with this slinger was the eggs.....or shall I say egg, as in only one egg. What's up with that!? Maybe I should admit one more thing: I like eggs, a lot. I would say I normally eat eggs 6 days in an regular week. And that one day I don't get to eat eggs sucks. I frequently try to eat eggs for breakfast and for dinner. You get the point. One egg in my slinger just doesn't cut it. 

Definitely the best part about this slinger, as Tony mentioned, was the burger patty, but it wasn't enough to save the plate. So aside from these easily avoidable problems, I didn't think it was necessarily a horrible slinger, but I wouldn't say it was good either. I think a good way to judge how much I like it is to ask myself: Will I be back? Nope. Even if for some reason I find myself wandering around Ferguson and decide I need breakfast covered in chili, I'd make the drive to get me a better slinger elsewhere.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Stop #7: Uncle Bill's

Tim's Review:
Alright, lets get straight to the point. Uncle Bill's sucks. Everything about this slinger was less than satisfying. You know, I wasn't looking forward to this stop in the first place, but every slinger gets a fair shot on this tour and Uncle Bill's blew it.

This is first place that actually messed up eggs. Who the hell can't cook two over easy eggs?! Normally I would have no problem with someone stacking two burger patties in their slinger (like Big Ed's does), I always prefer a hefty serving, but these burgers were just nasty. It tasted like a couple of burgers that were grilled a week earlier and then got thrown in microwave. I really have no idea if they were from the microwave or not because on an interesting note, this was the first place that we couldn't actually see the grill.

Needless to say, I had no problem calling it quits a little early and leaving a good portion of this turd on the plate. I have no desire to go back to Uncle Bill's. Ohhh and for whatever stupid reason, even though this was a your standard slinger, at Uncle Bill's they call it a “slingshot”. Oh AND I almost forgot, not only did the slingshot suck, it was the most expensive one so far! By itself was over $10, with a cup of coffee $12 and change. When I can get a better slinger for cheaper at many other places, Uncle Bill's loses every time and is currently at the bottom of my list.

Tony's Review:
First I want to say that I completely agree with Tim...this place fucking sucks. Going in to eating this "thing" I was not at my most hungry but if a slinger tour was going to be easy every douche on the block would be doing one. I'm not the biggest fan of Uncle Bill's to start with and this experience confirms that I won't be back.

The slinger barely even fit on the plate and something about it didn't even look good. I noticed there was a strong, odd butter taste throughout the whole thing and I'm pretty sure it was from the nasty ass hash browns, there were two burger patties that really know what screw it...this place is garbage don't go here anymore, I don't care if their 24 hours, EVERY other place is better than here.

This was a definite low spot of the tour and even as I write this post days later I'm still thoroughly angry about eating that trash. Once again, fuck Uncle Bill's.

Unrelated Side Note:
So we've been talking about our rating system the past few weeks and after this painful experience I think it's time to make some adjustments. An updated rating system will soon follow. 

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Stop #6: The White Knight

Tim's Review:
For the past 10 plus years, my 3 go to spots for slingers were Courtesy, the Buttery and Tiffany's. After midnight, there really isn't much other choice. But now I am starting to see the light. Now I've come to realize all this time I've been eating sub par slingers, as these same 3 are at the bottom of the list so far. White Knight was another first for me. A classic diner downtown. The only thing I knew about this diner before Saturday was that some Eddie Murphy movie was shot there. I don't even know if that's true. Plus, I don't really like Eddie Murphy movies.

As soon I sat down I knew we were in for something great. The cook had a few orders in front of ours. A couple burgers and a couple omelettes, and holy crap did that stuff look good. The burgers were the traditional, greasy, diner burger. And the omelettes were massive. I'd go back to try either one of those dishes. So just as I dreamed, it turns out the White Knight makes a great slinger. A really good slinger. I was a little shocked, but definitely pleased when the cook started the order and didn't pull out a stack of frozen burger patty's. The burger was made of actual ground beef! Crazy, I know.

You know what I just thinking? These slingers are around $6 - $8 each.  So with a tip and sometimes a coffee, and for the sake of simple math, I'd say on average we throw out about $10 every time we stop for a slinger. And with a new slinger discovered every couple of weeks, I believe the list is over 40 now. So that means I'm going to spend over $400. Just on slingers. OH my lord!! what the hell is wrong with us...........I love food.

Alright back on track. The white knight was great. Obviously the best burger of any slinger we've had so far. Eggs are always good because they are eggs. The hash browns were nothing special. In fact probably the weakest part of this slinger.  The cook was evening pouring something on the hash browns which I assume was water? I don't know, I don't think I've seen anyone do that before, but doesn't really matter, it do anything for me. The chili and onions were great as well, but after some deep thought I think I still like the chili at Eat Rite better. It was a really close call but I'm going to give this dish a solid 8, putting it in third place.

Tony's Review:
Tim obviously talked a lot so I won't waste time. One of the better slingers for sure fresh burger patty scooped from a big tube of beef was the highlight. Chili was pretty good, hashbrowns were underdone but that didn't ruin it, grilled onions on top were sweet city. A nice thing they did is put the cheese on top of the eggs and then pour the chili on top which means maximum meltage, good move White Knight.

Unlike Tim I think White Knight was better than Eat-Rite, not by a lot but by enough, I'll give it an 8.25.