Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Stop #5: Eat-Rite Diner

Tony's Review:
This is the first slinger we've had so far that neither of us had enjoyed before, needless to say the excitement level was through the roof. Located not far from Busch stadium we had the "pleasure" of eating most of our slinger with a group of drunk die-hard Cardinal's fans. Luckily the Cardinals won that day so they were in high spirits and not trying to kick our asses because we didn't want to watch them play pinball.

The slinger was the opposite of annoying, probably one of the smaller ones we've eaten which is not a bad thing. The hash browns were fine, well cooked just nothing amazing, burger was the same just ok, the chili was pretty good I don't know if it is homemade but it had chunks of ground beef in there which gets a high five from me and the onions on top were excellent. Everything worked really well together on this slinger which not many have done yet, and again we left Eat-Rite feeling good and not the usual instant depression we've been going through for this past few weeks.

I'm glad we popped our slinger cherry on this place together and it was a definite surprise in the flavor department. I'm slapping a 7.5 on this bad mother.

Tim's Review:

Eat Rite doesn't look like much. Actually, from the outside, it kind of looks like a dump. So expectations were set reasonably low and I was thinking this slinger would be average at its very best. But Damn!! what a nice surprise. Eat Rite turned out to be a solid diner. I got little nervous because when I first got there and the cook was making some burgers for someone else, I over hear her mention that she does alright making burgers, but breakfast still needed a lot of practice. Not really building up any excitement for this breakfast meal that I'm about to eat. But she was determined to turn out some good dishes. Before we ordered she actually started another round of 6 burgers (6 for $5), and I guess they weren't up to her standards because all the them went right into the trash! Seemed like a waste of food to me, but the point is, she is proud of her craft.

It's a little hard to say exactly why, but this slinger was great. The burger was the normal, the eggs turned out fine, I thought the hash browns were a little better than average. Seems a little odd, but my favorite part of this slinger may have been the way the onions were cut in thin little strips. And the size was perfect.

This biggest problem with this place, as Tony mentioned, was the annoying baseball fans.

Eat Rite gets a 8.25

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Stop #4: Tiffany's

Tony's Review:
For some reason Tim thought this was one of the best slingers in St. Louis so we decided to go here sooner than later so he would shut the hell up about it. Tiffany's is a great place in Maplehood where lovely old ladies have deal with giant drunk douchebags pretty much every night of the week, so they get a bonus point for that. Great diner serving you cheap diner food...not great food but simply food.

The slinger, aka Chili Mountain, was demolished with way too much chili, the lady said it was homemade chili but it may as well of been out of a can. The burger was one of the thinest I've ever seen and there were two on there which was not a good thing, twice the amount of shit burger to eat. The hash browns were fine, not crispy enough for my liking but if anything they were the highlight of this slinger. The whole mess was served on a plastic plate, one that a toddler eats off of so it doesn't break when they throw a tantrum, it may of just been my refined palate but you could taste the plastic from the plate as you were eating. Fuck that.

Bottomline, this slinger isn't the worst out there but it sure is a big piece of shit. I'll give it a 6.5. Also a word to the wise—after you eat a mountain of garbage food it is ill advised to go out for a hundred beers afterwards, you will be in bed at 11pm on a Friday. Rookie move.

Tim's Review:

Week 4 and it's finally starting to sink in just how many slingers we are really going to eat on this tour. A quick count on the list and I'm showing a total of 39! That's a shit load of chilli !!! and by my calculation, a shit load is a lot. Maybe I should start doing a sit up or two in between tour stops. Sorry, I'm not whining or anything. I still love the slinger. This week just seemed particularly hard on me and things just won't be the same anymore. After Friday, I needed a moment to sit and think about life. But life must go on and now it's time to start making some real decisions.

For years I had claimed Tiffany's diner as the best slinger around. I'd even taken out of towners there on multiple occasions, but as much as it pains me to admit, Tiffany's is longer my number one. There's no way I can continue to say Tiffany's is my favorite, after the way I felt on Friday. But this is what the slinger tour is all about and I'm no bullshitter so I have to tell it like it is.

I can't remember the last time I couldn't finish a slinger. In fact, I can honestly say I don't know that it's happened ever! I felt ashamed on Friday. Here I am claiming that Tiffany's is the best and I can't even finish the damn thing! I look like an asshole! What's happening to me?? I was so excited to eat this slinger that I didn't even realize until I was half way done that the lady forgot the onions and cheese. Is it possible the Tiffany's slinger was just having an off day? The eggs were eggs, the burger patty was the same frozen patty that every other place has, and the hash browns were perfectly average. For the first few bites I thought the chilli tasted great. But half way through I hit a wall. The chilli was just too much to handle and it didn't help that it was literally spilling over the side on my plate. It was nothing like I remember.

We had planned to split up the top ten list so we could each have our own, but for now I'm sticking with Tony. Tiffany's is in third with a score of 7.

On a side note, if you've ever been to Tiffany's on a late night more than about 5 years ago, you will remember the old bitch behind the counter named Rose. Unfortunately, Rose died a few years back. But on Friday, as I'm sitting there smashing this slinger in my face, some old, bitchy lady that looks and talks EXACTLY like Rose walks in and starts gearing up for the late shift. It was a little creepy.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Stop #3: Big Ed's Chili Mac's Diner

Big Ed's was so damn good I needed a long weekend to think it over.  So after of some deep thought and a ridiculous amount of yard work I've come to realize that Big Ed's is the real deal. The most solid slinger yet on the tour. Not only did it taste great, but it was super filling! If only I could find a beer with such awesome qualities. Big Ed's slinger was so filling that after I finishing shoveling that beast down at about noon on Friday I didn't even need to eat anything else the rest of the day. I did however snack on a left over donut, just for fun.

Here are my only two complaints about Big Ed's slinger: 1. as you might notice from the picture, those are some pretty damn big chunks of onion a little too big for my preference. The onions are great for adding some flavor, but I just don't want a huge bite of onion. The other tiny complaint was the hash browns. Not even a complaint really, but I just like hash browns at the Buttery a little better.  Big Ed's hash browns were too mushy (muh-shee, you know what I mean). 

I give it a 8.5 and Big Ed's easily takes over the top spot.  

Tony's Review:
I have had the fortune of enjoying Big Ed's Magic Slinger® on more than one occasion and going into this tour I knew that this would be the one to beat. A somewhat hidden gem of the downtown lunch scene, unknown to the common non-downtown working man due to their relatively whack hours, Monday - Friday, 6am -2pm, this is worth taking a long lunch or even a full day off. The waitresses there are awesome, guessing everyones drink orders like they've been there 100 times before. But really they're just crazy garbage demons that want to serve you the world's best slinger, aka guaranteed heart attack/depression.

Enough gibber gabber, let's move on to the big kahuna. They start off by breaking a chunk off of hash brown mountain and give you not one but TWO burgers COVERED IN CHEESE. Top that off with some damn good chili and they rest of toppings and you have made an excellent slinger. To be fair the burgers were frozen and lacked a bit in the taste department and the hash browns were a little muh-shee. I didn't mind the big onions, if I were mayor of onion town I would of doubled the amount.

This is going to be the slinger to beat, I'm giving this pearl a solid 9.