For some reason Tim thought this was one of the best slingers in St. Louis so we decided to go here sooner than later so he would shut the hell up about it. Tiffany's is a great place in Maplehood where lovely old ladies have deal with giant drunk douchebags pretty much every night of the week, so they get a bonus point for that. Great diner serving you cheap diner food...not great food but simply food.
The slinger, aka Chili Mountain, was demolished with way too much chili, the lady said it was homemade chili but it may as well of been out of a can. The burger was one of the thinest I've ever seen and there were two on there which was not a good thing, twice the amount of shit burger to eat. The hash browns were fine, not crispy enough for my liking but if anything they were the highlight of this slinger. The whole mess was served on a plastic plate, one that a toddler eats off of so it doesn't break when they throw a tantrum, it may of just been my refined palate but you could taste the plastic from the plate as you were eating. Fuck that.
Bottomline, this slinger isn't the worst out there but it sure is a big piece of shit. I'll give it a 6.5. Also a word to the wise—after you eat a mountain of garbage food it is ill advised to go out for a hundred beers afterwards, you will be in bed at 11pm on a Friday. Rookie move.
Week 4 and it's finally starting to sink in just how many slingers we are really going to eat on this tour. A quick count on the list and I'm showing a total of 39! That's a shit load of chilli !!! and by my calculation, a shit load is a lot. Maybe I should start doing a sit up or two in between tour stops. Sorry, I'm not whining or anything. I still love the slinger. This week just seemed particularly hard on me and things just won't be the same anymore. After Friday, I needed a moment to sit and think about life. But life must go on and now it's time to start making some real decisions.
For years I had claimed Tiffany's diner as the best slinger around. I'd even taken out of towners there on multiple occasions, but as much as it pains me to admit, Tiffany's is longer my number one. There's no way I can continue to say Tiffany's is my favorite, after the way I felt on Friday. But this is what the slinger tour is all about and I'm no bullshitter so I have to tell it like it is.
I can't remember the last time I couldn't finish a slinger. In fact, I can honestly say I don't know that it's happened ever! I felt ashamed on Friday. Here I am claiming that Tiffany's is the best and I can't even finish the damn thing! I look like an asshole! What's happening to me?? I was so excited to eat this slinger that I didn't even realize until I was half way done that the lady forgot the onions and cheese. Is it possible the Tiffany's slinger was just having an off day? The eggs were eggs, the burger patty was the same frozen patty that every other place has, and the hash browns were perfectly average. For the first few bites I thought the chilli tasted great. But half way through I hit a wall. The chilli was just too much to handle and it didn't help that it was literally spilling over the side on my plate. It was nothing like I remember.
We had planned to split up the top ten list so we could each have our own, but for now I'm sticking with Tony. Tiffany's is in third with a score of 7.
On a side note, if you've ever been to Tiffany's on a late night more than about 5 years ago, you will remember the old bitch behind the counter named Rose. Unfortunately, Rose died a few years back. But on Friday, as I'm sitting there smashing this slinger in my face, some old, bitchy lady that looks and talks EXACTLY like Rose walks in and starts gearing up for the late shift. It was a little creepy.