The Slinger Oscars

What a beautiful red carpet affair! Tim and I put on our finest tuxedos, rented the biggest hummer limo we could get and rolled up to Chili Mac's Diner in maximum style. Once we took the official slinger trophy out of our bulletproof briefcase we presented it to the owner of Chili Mac's, Kris, where she stood in awe for about 3 minutes before she began to weep uncontrollably.

Too bad none of that happened. What did happen is we rolled up in a fairly clean and very reliable, 2007 Toyota Corolla and presented Chili Mac's with what may be considered the world's cheapest trophy. None the less they were impressed and did seem to genuinely enjoy and I think it will be at least one week before they throw the trophy in the trash.

Tim and I did enjoy a celebratory slinger with our main man Josh (yes the Josh from the Josh's House post) and to show Chili Mac's the respect it deserves I ate the whole thing and probably won't be eating dinner tonight. Move over Dad's Scotch Oatmeal Cookies, you've got some competition for counter space!

The Best in Da Biz

Here we go, the moment you've not been waiting for...THE TOP FIVE BEST SLINGERS IN ST. LOUIS!

Tony: Not a whole lot needs to be said about the slinger at Eat-Rite, it's the most traditional one in the top ten and is 100% no nonsense. Great place to bring slinger virgins to pop their chili cherry.

Tony: A biscuit and gravy slinger in the top five!?!?! I know, I know but when you have this one you won't give a shit about what a slinger SHOULD be it's what it CAN be (I think that's the most poetic thing I've said on this blog).

Tony: One of St. Louis' best places and recent stars of hipster culture in St. Louis, they should of done a story on how the bold ass flavors of this slinger satifies the cities hunger. And yeah that's ham in the photo.

Tim: This may be the second best tasting, but it is by far the fanciest place to eat a slinger. Tony: This wine bar on Washington Ave. delivers all of the flavors your dreams are made of.

Note: We've been calling this place Big Ed's Chili Mac Diner, looks like they're putting less focus on the Big Ed's part. Sad day.

Tim: After hunting down for every single steaming pile of garbage in and around St. Louis, this is it! This is the classic slinger that everyone must try. The perfect mix of the best ingredients and cheeseburger patties take this thing to the top. Tony: I loved this place before we even started the tour and to see it rise to #1 makes me feel like a proud father after my dumb ass kid won some meaningless award. Chili Mac's may have downtown hours but it's worth taking the day off work to eat the best slinger in the city and then spending the rest of the day in the bathroom.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter where you eat your slinger, if you're drunk and jamming it down your gullet at 2am, it will be the best slinger you've ever had.

Stay tuned for the trophy presentation photos coming in a week or so. Yes we got a trophy. 

The Second Best...of the Best

The verdict is in and the slingers have been partially eaten for your enjoyment. Without further ado, say hello to St. Louis' 10th - 6th best slingers.

Tim: I originally had this guy a little higher on the list, but it just didn't hold up.  Classic slinger with the bonus of jalapeño's! Tony: This one flat out bummed me out.

Tim: All of the features of a big sloppy slinger in a tasty little package. You don't even need a fork! Considering almost every other place is daytime only, this is one my new favorite late night slingers. Tony: I was reluctant to put this in the top ten but then we ate this again and it was as good and fresh as the first time we had it. Bonus points for it's tiny package and extra points for being a great bar. 

Tony: I'll give it to this place they do it right in Olivette, this slinger is legit and they keep it simple with pure Olivette class.

Tony: Oh how the mighty have fallen. I think Sidebar was both of our number ones for a long time and here we end up in the #7 spot. We ate this one early on in the tour and it was one of the first non-diner slingers we had so it's understandable how it felt untouchable for so long but on the second visit it tuns out that its just a quality slinger with good ingredients but no real individual stand outs.

Tony: If there's one good thing I can say about St. Charles it's Allin's Diner...I think that's all the good things in St. Charles. I would probably say this was the best chili we had on the tour, Chef David working his magic with his world class homemade soups. This one definitely held up and I would recommend it to anyone in the area. Also one of the best looking slingers out there.

Stay tuned for the moment you've all been waiting for...the top slingers in THE WORLD (brought to you by Arby's®)!!!

The End is Here: Meet the Runner Ups

So our journey has finally come to an end. After almost 16 months and basically 64 weeks of weekly slingers (we were eating more than one a week towards the end) we have done it. We've gained weight, lost our girlish figures and have spent roughly $800 on pure human garbage troughs. We took our individual top tens and decided to re-eat them to come up with an ultimate top ten, you know separate the boys from the men—U.S.A style.

Benton Park Cafe: Tony: I really like Benton Park Cafe, especially their beer biscuits, but if there's one thing I've learned from eating here numerous times it's that their shit is inconsistent. Sometimes they're soft and tasty but most of the time they're hard and shitty thus resulting in a less than excellent slinger.

O'Shays: Tony: I don't think I've ever seen Tim so upset. Dude HATES mashed potatoes but I love them, I would say there isn't another slinger like this in the city and for that I give them points but we just couldn't come to an agreement on this one, while I really enjoyed the dinner qualities of this one at the end of the day it just wasn't top ten worthy.

Joe's Chili Bowl: Tim: Ohhhhh so close! Joe's Chili Bowl is just missing greatness coming in as the 11th best slinger in town. What's their secret? Well of course Joe's Chili Bowl has some great chili.  Then there's the fact that it's smothering a mountain of kick ass fries. For some reason reason it seems that this place is always empty, but don't let fool you, shit's good as hell. Whenever it's not 400 degrees out, you should definitely come give this place a try.

A Pretty Cool Conversation

This is a series of text messages exchanged between myself and #1 fan, Dave Todd, who had joined us in re-eating the Eat-Rite Diner slinger. Dave doesn't eat many slingers so he doesn't have the "experience" Tim and I have.

Stop #58: Alumni

Tony's Review: Well here I was thinking we were done eating all the new slingers St. Louis has to offer and then my buddy Drew mentions this place...I was less than pumped. Then I find out it's a fancier place which I'm not really into and then he tells me they're slinger fries!? Never had those but I'm sure a classy chef can charge me too much for them.

We get to the place and it is fancy, at least for what we've seen on this never ending tour, but then we find out it's not even on the menu anymore cause only one loyal dude was ordering them. A wave of relief washed over me but then this over achieving bartender said she would ask the chef if he would make it for us—she could tell by our vibes that we were VIP. Sure enough that chef said he could make it for us and gave us the heads up that if you ask for it they can always make it, not sure how that is.

So when the classy slinger fries arrive I'm a little surprised at how good they look. The first thing you notice was how perfectly the eggs were cooked, I don't think I've been so excited to eat an egg and they fucking delivered. Now there wasn't a full blown burger patty on the plate cause this is an appetizer, SO SOME CLASS! But to make up for lack of meat the chili was full of bold flavors and chunks of what I can only assume was ground beef from an hormone free, locally raised cow. And the fries themselves were really good which sealed the deal for me—slinger fries are really
good, but they're not top ten good.
Tim's Review: I think I was slightly bummed when I found out there was a new slinger too. But it really had nothing to do with the fact that I had to eat another one. It was the fact that I felt obligated to write this stupid post. I've learned 2 things over the past year: #1 after 58 stops, I STILL enjoy a fresh breakfast plate covered in steaming chili. I bet that even once this ridiculous tour is over, I will order the occasional slinger. Certainly not on a weekly basis, but I'm sure the craving will come. And #2: I HATE writing these blog posts. I'm not anywhere close to creative or intelligent enough to come up with 58 different ways to write about eggs, potatoes, meat and chili.

As far as Alumni is goes, they serve up a very respectable slinger. Top of the line egg with some with great fries and chili. It's not top ten material, but I might snack on this shit again, if only for the fact that I know I can go in and order something that's not on the menu. It'll make me feel important.

Stop #57: The Kitchen Sink

Tony's Review: Warning this is not an official slinger. This just had the heart of one and I was wanted a reason to try The Kitchen Sink out for my first time. This place opened up not that long ago right off of Forest Park near the History Museum entrance and I would describe their menu as officially off the chains. Tons of good choices to make and everything I saw when I was there looked really good.

Now let's talk about "THE SINK" their everything dish that we deemed close enough to a slinger to warrant reviewing it. Two biscuits, two sausage patties, tater tots, two eggs, sausage gravy and topped with jalapeno bacon and cheese all served in a metal bowl. Sounds good enough and when this bowl of shit came out I was very impressed by the appearance of a legitimate bowl of slop. Everything looked fresh and smelled great and the first few bites were legit. Gravy was fresh, tater tots were crispy and the biscuits were soft which are things we haven't been used to on this tour. I thought I had a new Top Ten contender until about a 1/3 of the way through. Something happened as I was eating it, seemed like my tastebuds just flatlined and all of these sweet things in my bowl tray just started tasting the same. And then I hit the chopped up sausage patties which were all grouped together in one section and while sausage is good I don't want to eat what felt like a never ending mound of sausage bits.

Don't get me wrong, this dish was really good and I'm looking forward to going back there and trying something new. I give the Sink a high five for making all or most of their food from scratch because you can taste the difference and while this almost slinger had a strong start but a weaker finish it was only $6 and worth every dollar. I would recommend you guys check this place out and when you leave check out Harrison's Popcorn next door, they serve all types of popcorn and the ones I had were tasty as shit and they DO NOT skimp and that magic popcorn flavoring dust.

Tim's Review: This thing was definitely impressive looking coming out of the gate. The fork sticking up right in the middle, like this was some kind of food challenge. I know Tony doesn't think of this as a “real slinger” and I kind of agree with that, but I'd say it was more slinger than some crap we've eaten in the past. Remember that so called “Irish Slinger” at O'Shay's, that wasn't a real slinger either.  I still get pissed when I think about those damn boxty potatoes. I didn't mention this before, but I actually hate boxty potatoes for 2 reasons: 1. They're too much like mashed potatoes and 2. when I had to look up what boxty was, I found out that there is a catchy little jingle about boxty. Now everytime I think about it, I get that damn song in my head!

Anyways, back to the Kitchen Sink. This thing wasn't too bad, but I was a little disappointed when I saw it had those damn tator tots. Those never seem to work out in my opinion, but they didn't really bother me too much this time. I think I had about 4 tots in there, so I guess I'm cool with that.  Some dude next to us had a real sexy looking burger.  I think it might have had a fried jalapeño on top or something. Not sure. All I know is that it looked better than what I had. Not a bad slinger, and definitely worth the money, but the simple fact that I didn't finish this off and get the clean plate award for this thing says it's no top ten. Next time I go back, I'm getting the burger.