Stop #62: Strange Donuts

Tony's Review: You're joking right, a slinger donut (or done if you're in the know). How the fuck do you put a slinger in a done? I heard that NASA scientists worked on it for 14 years and were close to cracking the code but then the government shut down and that went down the drain. So somehow the dudes at Strange Donuts figured this out, I assume this blog was pretty much the prime motivator in that.

So what is this thing and HOW DID THEY DO IT? First off it's a toasted donut, not a glazed or fried cake donut, just a sweet tasting toasted donut. Next you got the chili, so they basically made a donut trough which had solid bottom for maximum biteage and an open top for maximum chiliage. Unreal. Top it off with an egg patty, cheese and some Billy Goat chips and you have yourself a slinger done that you can pick up in your hand, put it in your mouth, bite it, chew it and put it back down without getting garbage all over your self. Unreal. They've accomplished the impossible and here's the shocker it actually tasted pretty good. The toasted done was ok it kind of tasted like sweet bread to me rather than a classic glazed donut that they do well. Chili was good nothing too outrageous, egg patty was solid and the chips added a nice crunch. All in the fact that Strange Donuts put a slinger into a donut is some next level shit, the fact that it actually tasted good is even better. The salty and sweet balance is a favorite of mine and it scratched that itch. Well done Strange Donuts I look forward to the next done.

Tim's Review: A slinger donut does sound like one of those magical creations that is just too good to be true. So right up front, I'll give Strange Donuts credit for having a great idea and making it happen. I love their attempt of trying to stack up the slinger in a nice little package. It really reminded me of the Silver ballroom with their Australian meat pie. Not because of the taste, it was just that nice convenient style. The Silver Ballroom just does it way better. I've actually been back and had that one at the Ballroom a few times since it proudly landed in the #9 spot.

It's not that I thought the slinger donut was bad, but when you put the words “Slinger” and “Donut” in the same menu item, you're really setting some high expectations. The one thing that I just wasn't really a huge fan of is those chips sprinkled on top. It was a good idea, and I like that it was something  new, but a greasy little hash brown patty could have made this thing way better. Something like that hash brown cake you get in the Buttery slinger. A smaller version of that on top of this donut could have been amazing.

Strange Donuts had a great idea and did a decent job with the execution, but if this was a actual menu item (like it is at Ballroom), I really doubt I'd be a regular customer.   

Stop #61: Treehouse

Tony's Review: Another slinger? Another vegetarian slinger? YES! Believe it you red meat eating animal! Expand your mind at Treehouse, a vegetarian restaurant on South Grand that opened in the summer. They started serving brunch recently and guess what wound up on the menu.

Treehouse is pretty neat inside, probably designed by a place that reads design magazines and rehabbing garbage. Pretty small brunch menu but a good fancy cup of coffee. So we get our slinger and it looks great, like someone actually cared about the slop plate they were serving, impressive. Potatoes, chili, eggs, onion, and cilantro (which is a very welcome first for us) but one crucial item wasn't listed in that last sentence, meat or fake meat of any kind. Everything tasted good, solid chili, decent potatoes, properly cooked eggs but after a few bites you realized that without the veggie patty it just fell flat. This slingér could of been so much more with a small veggie burger patty or veggie sausage, instead we were left with glorified bowl of chili minus the bowl.

Tim's Review: I won't really waste too much of your time, because Tony did a great job of breaking it down and getting right to the problem. MEAT! Goddamn vegetarian's have to ruin everything!! Ok, just kidding. I don't really have any problem with vegetarians, but couldn't they find something to throw in there in place of the burger? There's plenty of good soy to go around. Remember that slinger at the Crow's Nest?? That was a vegetarian slinger and it was fucking fantastic. If the Treehouse could just get some kind of sausage flavored soy crap in the mix, this slinger could be the real deal. Maybe they can just throw a morningstar patty in there. Something!!! Actually, that morningstar shit kind of sucks. At least the one I tried sucked. I was at this vegetarian dude's house in St. Charles once, and he offered me a snack. Since he knew I wasn't a vegetarian, I guess he felt that I had to have something that resembled meat. So he threw one of those morningstar patties in the microwave. Damn, that stuff sucks! Why couldn't he offer me a granola bar or maybe a bean and cheese burrito?  I'm too polite, so I did eat the whole thing, but those veggie patty's are a pretty sad substitute for a real deal burger. If someone doesn't want to eat meat then fine, but don't replace it with a shitty, stinky, way less tasty pile of soy that's trying to act like meat. Whatever. I don't even know why I care this much. I actually think it's a little weird that I missed the meat because I don't really eat a lot of meat anyway.   So aside from my one complaint, this thing didn't taste too bad and, as you can see, was a really great looking slinger  .

Stop #60: Cielo

Tim's Review: Sometime back in the later part of 2013, Tony and I actually went on another slinger adventure. It's hard to believe we are both this lazy about writing in the blog now, but it's been over two months. It was actually on Oct. 27. The only reason I can remember the exact day is because the City of St. Louis Photo Enforcement Program was kind enough to send me a picture of me, making a right turn in my multi purpose vehicle (Kia Rondo) from Grand to 44 and reportedly committed the offense of “No Stop Berfore Right Turn”. Fuck that. Anyways, let's talk about the slinger.

I realize it may sound a little absurd that I'm recalling a slinger that I ate over two months ago, but there's really only one of thing that needs to be said: This slinger was $18. Just to be clear, it's a slinger that costs Eighteen U.S. Dollars, making it by far the most expensive slinger in town. I'm not necessarily opposed to paying top dollar for some super tastey food, but it better as hell be good. I don't want some average bowl of slop that I can get anywhere else for $8. Now I know what you're thinking, Tim, stop sounding like a goddamn cheapskate and bitching about how much this thing cost and just tell us....How was the slinger? It was insanely average and I'd say it was worth about $8. All the major players were there, eggs, hashbrowns, burger patty, and chili, but not one ingredient stood out as being anything special.

So was it worth the $18?? Hell no! If you want an average slinger and you're willing to pay an extra $10 so you can have a view of the arch while you eat, I guess Cielo is your place.

Tony's Review: Tim summed this up pretty well, $18 slinger, the one thing he forgot to mention was the magical night we shared together the night before. We rented matching black tuxedos (VIP style), had a stretch Ford F-350 limo bring us to the Four Seasons where we had booked our room. Spun a few slots at Lumiere, lost close to $2,800 and ended up crying in the hot tub in our $3,000 suite. Needless to say the night wasn't great. Luckily we saved enough money to have brunch at Cielo.

The hostess could Tim and I were in the dumps so she gave us the most romantic view in the restaurant. The menu was really upselling the slinger (Jones Heritage Farm Eggs, Chef Donn's Chili), they didn't need to do this, they could of just said "You're eating a slinger at the Four Season's Hotel...Fuck you). When our slingers came I was instantly impressed by the size of the plate/bowl that the slinger was nestled in. It looked good and it tasted pretty good, the chili was rich as hell and also oily as hell, which lets you know that the chances you'll get diarrhea have increased 1,000%. The burger was thick and tasty but there was a lack of hash browns which would of helped soak up that man grease. The eggs were cooked perfectly and they better be, they're heritage eggs. The problem with this slinger is the same we've seen before—too many bold things. The burger and chili would be good on their own but if you're combining the two you need to tone that shit down. SHOW THE SLINGER SOME RESPECT YOU ANIMALS!

Bottom line, unless you're a millionaire/asshole, don't eat this thing. We knew it wasn't going to be worth it but you never know, it could of come with a surprise happy ending which would of made it worth $16.

Stop #59: Dressel's Public House

Well, well, well. I thought we were done with this nonsense, but here we are, back in the saddle. Apparently there's a few slingers we missed, so in our effort to make this the most complete slinger blog on the internet, we're going back on the road for some more punishement. Plus, I don't want people to think we're little bitches because we only ate 58 slingers. We're going to eat them ALL. 

Tim's Review: So we kicked off the unexpected second leg of this tour at Dressel's in the Central West End. This is my first trip to Dressel's, so I don't really know what to expect. Luckily, Dressel's didn't fully disappoint. When the skillet first came out, this shit was looking good. The smell of the chili and the sight of that sloppy brown mess really brought back some beautiful memories, but unfortunately the feeling didn't last. I don't really know what it was, the greasy chili? the sausage? This thing just sort of fell flat. The part that saved this thing was the potatoes, definitely top notch, and by far the best part of this plate. They call them “American fried”, I don't think I've heard that before, but I like it. Also, I think this was a the first slinger with sour cream, so I guess that's cool. I'm not really the biggest fan of sour cream, but I'll go with it.

This slinger didn't really come close to causing any disruptions in the original top 10, but it didn't put me in a bad mood either, so I guess that's kind of a good thing.

On a little side note, I decided to check back with one of the old classic diner hangouts this past weekend so me and a buddy took a late night trip to the Buttery for a recreation slinger. What the fuck happened Buttery?!? My eggs weren't cooked all the way leaving the white part was all runny.  Nobody likes that! Just because I'm getting buzzed into the front door of the Buttery at 1 a.m. doesn't mean I'm too drunk to notice under cooked eggs. Maybe this past year and half has just turned me into a slinger snob........ OR MAYBE someone just forgot how to cook eggs!! Get your shit together Buttery.  

Tony's Review: Man getting back into this whole "writing slinger reviews" is a bummer. I hung up my keyboard, my stretchy pants and was on an exclusive burger diet—but duty calls and a tour of garbage isn't complete until you eat all of the garbage.

Like Tim this was also my first time at Dressel's and was equally surprised by the cast iron skillet that was plopped in front of us. Just check out that picture. You can practically taste all of those bold flavors placed in front of you. Those first few bites were top notch, weird but excellent potatoes, powerful chili and all of exotic toppings. But like a hardcore band from the mid-2000s said "nothing gold can stay". It got to the point about half way through where all of those extreme flavors became too much and the chili especially was simply TOO MUCH FLAVOR (said in an @slingernick voice). Like Tim said it all just kind of went flat, like my tastebuds weren't mature enough for farm fresh eggs and other locally sourced ingredients. Regardless of how the slinger ended this was a great slinger and would recommend it to all of you jabronis.


I was still very impressed with Dressel's and decided to go back a couple of weeks later because they had something that caught my eye when I was there for the slinger...Cheddar Biscuits and Chorizo Gravy! Too bad for you this isn't a biscuits and gravy blog so I won't tell you how good it was but SPOILER ALERT it was through the roof awesome! 

The Slinger Oscars

What a beautiful red carpet affair! Tim and I put on our finest tuxedos, rented the biggest hummer limo we could get and rolled up to Chili Mac's Diner in maximum style. Once we took the official slinger trophy out of our bulletproof briefcase we presented it to the owner of Chili Mac's, Kris, where she stood in awe for about 3 minutes before she began to weep uncontrollably.

Too bad none of that happened. What did happen is we rolled up in a fairly clean and very reliable, 2007 Toyota Corolla and presented Chili Mac's with what may be considered the world's cheapest trophy. None the less they were impressed and did seem to genuinely enjoy and I think it will be at least one week before they throw the trophy in the trash.

Tim and I did enjoy a celebratory slinger with our main man Josh (yes the Josh from the Josh's House post) and to show Chili Mac's the respect it deserves I ate the whole thing and probably won't be eating dinner tonight. Move over Dad's Scotch Oatmeal Cookies, you've got some competition for counter space!

The Best in Da Biz

Here we go, the moment you've not been waiting for...THE TOP FIVE BEST SLINGERS IN ST. LOUIS!

Tony: Not a whole lot needs to be said about the slinger at Eat-Rite, it's the most traditional one in the top ten and is 100% no nonsense. Great place to bring slinger virgins to pop their chili cherry.

Tony: A biscuit and gravy slinger in the top five!?!?! I know, I know but when you have this one you won't give a shit about what a slinger SHOULD be it's what it CAN be (I think that's the most poetic thing I've said on this blog).

Tony: One of St. Louis' best places and recent stars of hipster culture in St. Louis, they should of done a story on how the bold ass flavors of this slinger satifies the cities hunger. And yeah that's ham in the photo.

Tim: This may be the second best tasting, but it is by far the fanciest place to eat a slinger. Tony: This wine bar on Washington Ave. delivers all of the flavors your dreams are made of.

Note: We've been calling this place Big Ed's Chili Mac Diner, looks like they're putting less focus on the Big Ed's part. Sad day.

Tim: After hunting down for every single steaming pile of garbage in and around St. Louis, this is it! This is the classic slinger that everyone must try. The perfect mix of the best ingredients and cheeseburger patties take this thing to the top. Tony: I loved this place before we even started the tour and to see it rise to #1 makes me feel like a proud father after my dumb ass kid won some meaningless award. Chili Mac's may have downtown hours but it's worth taking the day off work to eat the best slinger in the city and then spending the rest of the day in the bathroom.

At the end of the day it doesn't matter where you eat your slinger, if you're drunk and jamming it down your gullet at 2am, it will be the best slinger you've ever had.

Stay tuned for the trophy presentation photos coming in a week or so. Yes we got a trophy. 

The Second Best...of the Best

The verdict is in and the slingers have been partially eaten for your enjoyment. Without further ado, say hello to St. Louis' 10th - 6th best slingers.

Tim: I originally had this guy a little higher on the list, but it just didn't hold up.  Classic slinger with the bonus of jalapeño's! Tony: This one flat out bummed me out.

Tim: All of the features of a big sloppy slinger in a tasty little package. You don't even need a fork! Considering almost every other place is daytime only, this is one my new favorite late night slingers. Tony: I was reluctant to put this in the top ten but then we ate this again and it was as good and fresh as the first time we had it. Bonus points for it's tiny package and extra points for being a great bar. 

Tony: I'll give it to this place they do it right in Olivette, this slinger is legit and they keep it simple with pure Olivette class.

Tony: Oh how the mighty have fallen. I think Sidebar was both of our number ones for a long time and here we end up in the #7 spot. We ate this one early on in the tour and it was one of the first non-diner slingers we had so it's understandable how it felt untouchable for so long but on the second visit it tuns out that its just a quality slinger with good ingredients but no real individual stand outs.

Tony: If there's one good thing I can say about St. Charles it's Allin's Diner...I think that's all the good things in St. Charles. I would probably say this was the best chili we had on the tour, Chef David working his magic with his world class homemade soups. This one definitely held up and I would recommend it to anyone in the area. Also one of the best looking slingers out there.

Stay tuned for the moment you've all been waiting for...the top slingers in THE WORLD (brought to you by Arby's®)!!!