Stop #51: Sub-Zero Vodka Bar

Tony's Review: "Welcome to Club Paradise, aka Sub-Zero." That's how we were greeted at this place, a little cocky yes but they do have every vodka ever made here. If only that were true. None of that happened, what did happen is that we went to an overpriced fancy bar in the Central West End and ate a $14 slinger burger.

The atmosphere at Sub Zero is clearly for a demographic that aren't a bunch of sweat pant wearing slobs that have been on a year long tour to find the best slinger in St. Louis but sometimes you gotta take your lumps. We've had a slinger burger before and it was alright, luckily the burger here was a bit better. When it arrived it looked like there was a gallon of chili on it, pouring over the edges like the terrifying movie, "The Blob". I had to break one of my life rules of not eating a sandwich with a fork and knife but this burger demanded respect. The burger was really well cooked and had an overall solid taste, the egg was fried which is good for cleanliness but bad for yolk explosions and since I was already eating with a fork and knife like a sissy I would of loved that yolk party. Biggest bummer of the night was when I got psyched out by all of that chili pouring over the edges only to find that it barely existed on the middle of the burger. The chili was descent and it could of been great if there were only 32 more ounces of it.

Listen. If you're going to Sub Zero it's probably because you're trying to get fresh on some bimbo or because you're trying to impress which your friends with your worldly vodka knowledge, which they don't give a shit about. You shouldn't be ordering a $14 slinger burger, just go to Rally's and get the Big Buford, just don't go to the one on Grand & Chouteau, they suck.

Tim's Review: I'm sure I've probably mentioned this before, but I'm not really a fan of the Central West End and for reasons that have nothing to do with food. First, because I'm an old man and don't want to have to drive around for 20 minutes just to end up parking 6 blocks away from the restaurant. And second, because I'm a cheap skate and don't want to pay some jack ass to park my car when I'm perfectly capable of parking it myself. Regardless of how annoying I knew this trip was going to be, I have heard good things about the burgers at Sub Zero. If their burgers are good, the slinger burger must be great. Right?

Ehhhhhhh, it was just ok. The picture definitely makes it look a lot better that it was. The biggest bummer was by far the lack of chili. It needed at least twice as much as they put on there. But even if this burger was swimming in a bucket of chili, the burger was just not that awesome. I guess it did it's job as a burger, but I'm not going to think about it the next time I crave a big fat and juicy grilled burger.  I got dozens of other places I could waste $14.  A nice little bonus though was the side of sweet potato fries, which were great.

So despite the fact that I made the drive into this bullshit neighborhood, the slinger was not too bad. Was it worth fourteen big ones? Nope. Will I ever order it again? Most likely not. Actually now that I'm thinking about it, the only reason I have to go eat in the Central West End again is for the delicious, 7^th place, West End Pub & Grill.